We went to the park and went rollerblading and then sat on a towel and talked and relaxed in the shade. It felt almost perfect. I can’t stop thinking about how great it was. He kept pulling me closer to him, which surprised me, but I loved it. He said “now every time we see each other we’re just gonna hug the whole time because we don’t get to everyday any more.” It’s nice to hug like that. He smelled perfect. And we kissed a couple of times. It felt bittersweet. It felt wrong but SO right. I loved every second of it. He’s so goofy. We got drinks from the fountain and he picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him an he pushed me against the wall. He just kept saying “get over here” and he’d hug me again and again. He kept biting my ear cuz it makes me squirm. He was holding me and he lifted up the back of my shirt and ran his fingers down my spine. He kissed my forehead. It was funny because at first he was sitting on the picnic table and I was on the towel, and he was playing footsies with me. We were just talking about the future and Europe and how he’s going to Belgium next summer, and I mentioned how I’m studying abroad and he didn’t know I was going for a semester. He said I’m going to fall in love with a Frenchman. And I said yes, but then he’ll say it wont work once I’m so far away and that it won’t be fair to either of us (ode to what he had said to me during our break up) and then he’ll be gone. They always seem to go. He didn’t think that it was funny for me to mock our break up. Later I was flirting and hit him with my shoe and he said he was too tired to chase me. So I hit him again and he caught it and tried to pull it out of my hands. I could have just let it go, but I let him pull me in. He was sitting on the table and pulled me between his legs and just hugged me. I keep living in that moment over and over again. He said “I’ve missed you so much. I know I’m a boy and I’m terrible with words, but I have missed you.” In the car I kept putting my head on his shoulder, but I didn’t want to be obnoxious while he was driving, so I didn’t do it for a while. But later I looked at him and smiled and tapped him with my head, and he said “it’s okay you can do it” and i said do what? “Put your head on my shoulder,” so I did, and he lifted up his arm and wrapped it over my shoulder and rubbed my arm. I like being missed by him. I feel more appreciated than when we saw each other every day. I can’t wait to see you again, but that day was perfect and I’ll be thinking about it for a while.
I want you to kiss me to sleep.
